Review of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Love
When my wife recently added Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa TerKeurst to our ever-expanding bookshelf, I couldn’t resist the urge to dive in. As I scanned the glowing reviews and high ratings, I was curious: what is it about this book that resonates so deeply with readers? Given that this was my first encounter with TerKeurst’s work, I approached it with both excitement and a hint of skepticism—especially since I suspected it might not directly apply to my own life at this moment.
At its core, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes aims to equip readers to cultivate healthier relationships through the establishment of clear boundaries. TerKeurst draws on her own painful experiences, particularly her divorce, to weave a narrative that is both personal and profoundly instructive. She asserts that boundaries are essential for discerning whether a relationship is uplifting or detrimental. Through a simple yet powerful message, TerKeurst encourages us to create space for love to flourish while simultaneously inviting respect for our boundaries.
The book’s structure, consisting of twelve distinct chapters, gives readers a roadmap to navigate their relationship dynamics. Each chapter addresses a specific nuance—ranging from “You Are Not Crazy” to “Can a Goodbye Ever Really Be Good?” While I appreciated TerKeurst’s effort to distill complex emotional landscapes into digestible lessons, I couldn’t help but feel that some chapters overlapped, diluting the impact of her insights. Still, the chapter titles alone serve as a compelling guide to what awaits within the pages.
One of the standout aspects of TerKeurst’s writing is her ability to integrate personal anecdotes with biblical teachings and psychological insights, courtesy of her therapist, Jim Cress. For example, she emphasizes that “boundaries protect the right kind of love,” a sentiment that reverberated with me even as someone who isn’t currently grappling with relationship turmoil. Her perspective encourages a proactive approach to interpersonal connections, reminding readers that setting and maintaining boundaries should never be equated with abandoning relationships.
However, while I found much of TerKeurst’s advice insightful, I sensed that her interpretations of scripture might not resonate with everyone—myself included. This book seems firmly targeted at individuals who share a Christian worldview, which could be polarizing. Nonetheless, the underlying principles of self-worth and emotional health are universal.
Despite my initial reservations, I finished the book feeling hopeful, not just for myself but for those navigating turbulent relationships. TerKeurst articulates a vibrant vision of love defined not by sacrifice or submission, but by clarity and respect. Her compassionate tone and respectful treatment of others—especially those who have hurt her—create a space where healing can be possible, rather than a rehearsed story steeped in resentment.
In conclusion, while Good Boundaries and Goodbyes may not be a delightful read in the traditional sense, it serves a vital purpose. It’s not a book meant for casual enjoyment; rather, it’s a lifeline for those searching for clarity in their relationships. If you’re someone wrestling with the complexities of love and boundaries—especially within a Christian frame—this book could be transformative. For readers like myself, who may not be the intended audience, I would still recommend it as a supplementary resource, complementing works like Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, which offers a more structured exploration of the topic.
All things considered, I give Good Boundaries and Goodbyes a respectable three out of five stars. It’s a solid book filled with valuable insights, yet its strongest impact will likely resonate with those who are actively seeking guidance in their relational lives. If that’s you, embrace this book as a companion on your journey toward healthier connections.
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