Navigating Modern Love: A Review of Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed by JP Pokluda
When I first picked up Outdated: Find Love That Lasts When Dating Has Changed, I approached it with trepidation. Let’s just say Christian dating books can sometimes toe the line of cringeworthy. But JP Pokluda proved me wrong—this book is not only approachable, it’s refreshingly grounded. I found myself nodding along as he dissected modern dating, making me reconsider some of the truths I’d absorbed over the years.
The book is thoughtfully divided into three parts: "Why We Date," "Who We Date," and "How We Date." Pokluda kicks things off by establishing a foundational truth—singleness is okay and dating should ideally have marriage as its goal. It’s a perspective shift that I think many young people need to hear. In an era where dating has become almost casual, his reminder that the end goal should be more substantial gives clarity in what often feels like chaotic waters. For me, this sets a healthy tone, empowering readers to approach relationships with purpose rather than simply viewing dating as a rite of passage.
In the second section, "Who We Date," Pokluda tackles the myth of "The One," a notion that looms large in Christian circles. I found his approach rather illuminating. By emphasizing that relationships should be based on friendship and shared life rather than fleeting feelings, he opens up a more realistic conversation about love. His not-so-rocket science viewpoint reminds us that real relationships are built on choices and mutual growth—a comforting idea that detracts from the pressure of perfection.
As for the final part, "How We Date," Pokluda covers practical matters such as boundaries, relationship growth, and determining when it might be time to part ways. While I agree with his points, I yearned for deeper explorations of these crucial topics. It feels like there’s so much more to unpack here—a missed opportunity in a book that lays the groundwork for healthier dating dynamics in a digestible manner.
I must admit, however, that I took issue with his assertion that all marriages are dissolved in heaven. As someone who wrestles with theological nuances, this felt like an awkward statement lurking in a book meant to chart the path toward marriage. It’s odd to create a manual about dating while ultimately suggesting that these earthly connections don’t carry into eternity.
Regardless of these nuances, Outdated serves as a solid starting point for young Christians navigating a dating landscape fraught with mixed messages—from the restrictive elements of purity culture to the free-for-all attitudes of the secular world. Though it doesn’t delve as deeply as I would have liked, the book positions itself as a reasonable third option, striking a balance many seekers will find refreshing.
In conclusion, I’d recommend Outdated for anyone in their late teens to mid-twenties who’s trying to make sense of love in today’s culture. It’s not a definitive guide but rather a thoughtful introduction to reimagining relationships with intention and authenticity. As I closed the book, I felt a sense of hopefulness—the principles shared here might not be groundbreaking, but they have the potential to be genuinely revolutionary in reshaping how we think about love and commitment.
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